I come to you with my offering
arms full – eyes brimming…
but as I pour out my love
it turns to sand… my tears
to dust… and I realize
I have nothing to offer.
No oil, no myrhh…
I come to you empty-
begging to be filled.
Unbidden, thoughts of you crowd my mind…
I cannot elude your smile,
your voice.
I feel myelf slowly consumed by you
as I seek a more intimate
connection.
I wish to bond to you, to mold myself
completely to your skin, your heart
your spirit.
I seek to lose myself in your wonderment
your love, your passion and
wild goodness.
I want at once to be your child, wife,
mother, lover, teacher and
devotee.
I want to worship at your alter in a
pagan ritual of lust and sex
and blood.
I approach idolatry in my
devotion to you. May God
forgive me.
I fear I cannot escape this – but more
still – I fear I shall choose
to abide.