I spent most of my life running away from my anger, afraid of it.  I thought if I just was careful, if I just suppressed all the seething anger threatening to overtake me I would ‘win’.   I thought it would prove that I made it out… prove that despite their best efforts they did not win…  I was wrong!  My anger only turned inward… poisoning me.  It turned into cutting, addiction, apathy, defeat, depression.   I am through.  I am not doing this anymore.  You know what you deserve?  You- pretender- the one who tortured me, who abused me, who raped me, who molested me, who slapped me, who beat me… you know what you deserve…??>> You deserve this anger – you deserve this pain – you deserve to feel crazy and out of control!  You deserve to be beaten, stoned, tortured.  You deserve to be exposed and laid bare for all the world to see.  You deserve to be reviled.  You deserve to be seen as the disgusting, weak, pervert that you are!  And don’t think that you are getting away with anything help-meet… Don’t think I don’t see you in the dark cowering…hiding in his shadow!  You are just the same!  You are just as bad!  Do you think that not helping – that just watching and being the silent partner absolves you of guilt?!?  Do you think your hands are any less dirty?!  I am here to tell you, you are just as vile!  You are just as poisonous!  You are GUILTY!!  I am DONE feeling crazy because of your choices!  I am done twisting myself in knots trying to make sense of your lies!  I am not crazy!  It was not my fault ~ It is never a child’s fault for being abused and not having anyone to stand up for them! I am done taking the blame for the damage you caused!  I am not playing this game anymore!  You are nothing and you don’t get a say-so any more!