I can feel it again… that tightness in my chest…

the tears, the throat so tight I cannot swallow.

Grief fills my lungs with cries I will not utter.

I feel the pull… the desire to be “ok”

the desire to bury this pain and pretend

that I am not in agony…

I feel it again… this drowning

all-consuming tidal wave swelling

toward me… so much pain… and I stand

on the open beach… arms out-stretched…

do your worst.