I sometimes wonder why I struggle so much…. some days it seems like every part of my life is a struggle. I struggle to perform perfectly at work, I struggle to “get it right” all the time… no matter whether “IT” is making dinner, cleaning house, serving customers at work, being a supportive friend a good wife… I think I just have all these ideas in my head about what I am supposed to be…about who I am supposed to be and how I am supposed to act. Some days I look around and all I see are the things I need to do… I need to organize our house, put away our books, buy/build more bookshelves, clean our carpets, clean our rooms, catch up on all the laundry, work on my crafts for Christmas, finish with our Christmas Gifts…. My thoughts race and race… I think I need a few weeks to just catch up … no distractions… no excuses… no interruptions… 
Tag Archive: freedom
I know no one really like anxiety, but I hate the way I feel right now! My heart is pounding, I am having trouble breathing I cannot think straight… I hate this!!! I want to scream right now. I hate this feeling of fear – terror really. I hate feeling trapped inside my own skin. I hate the swarm of bees buzzing in my chest, the tightness in my lungs, the crawling in my skin the jangling nerves. I hate that I feel so helpless to this feeling. I hate this! I feel crazy and I feel desperate and I would almost do anything to make it go away….
Manarda (Bee Balm) blooming against the sky
This guy landed on me while I was pulling weeds.
The lioness
stalking
cricling, growling
menacing
biting
tearing, rending
shredding
eating
swallowing up
my soul
and passing
stealthily
into the night.
captivatingbitter 