I used to be a self-mutilator. I don’t know why that is so hard for me to admit to when I have no problem talking openly about my abuse… it seems silly to me that I can tell someone that I was abused and raped but ignore the effects it had on me. I had over 60 scars on my body from cutting at one time… many of which are completely healed over. I cut for many reasons… mostly to escape the pain that tormented me daily… sometimes to escape the utter numbness that was the only alternative I had to the pain.
Now I seek a healthier alternative… I allow myself to feel the pain and to process the anger. I allow myself to be broken and in that find surcease. I look at my scars now and do not feel shamed by them, rather, I feel honored. Honored that I survived this and I can survive still.
captivatingbitter 
Thoughts on Honest Communication
I think we underestimate the value and the ease of honesty. We over-think things and give simplistic answers because that is what we assume other people want from us. When I ask a question I expect an honest answer – and because of this I only ask questions that I am interested in the answer to. I prefer a life of honesty. I don’t want someone to try to anticipate what they think will be best for me or easier for me to take… I do not believe in “white lies”. I just want to know what is, not what someone thinks should be. I want straight honest answers and honest feed-back. I am so tired of avoiding issues for the sake of not hurting feelings… it is usually more painful in the long run to avoid the immediate pain for the sake of what’s easy.