With growing interest I watch his hands
gesturing emphatically as he preaches
to the congregation about God and man.
He preaches against the sins of greed and wine;
he tells us how we are to come as a child
unto the Lord for His blessed forgiveness.
With trembling lips I beg for forgiveness.
I take the punishment from hard, cruel hands.
Inwardly, I curse the loss of my child-
hood while I listen to the message my uncle preaches.
Later, in my room, I stifle a whine
while fighting back tears of pain from the man
I have lovingly called uncle. This cheerful man
Hides secrets which are hard to forgive.
He gets high off touches, drinks them like wine
while inflicting embarrassing pain with his hand
up my thigh. Still touching me he preaches
and I can only sit stiff, a scared little child.
He talks about Jesus, who was Mary’s child
and I feel disgusted, afraid of this man.
His message seems the same as the one Jesus preaches,
but his actions are different. Does he ask forgiveness
for the crimes he committed with his holy hands?
Will there ever be a day for him to whine?
It looks thick, red like blood, his wine
of communion. I do not take any, I am a child.
With utmost kindness, he hands
me a towel to cleanse myself of he touch of this man.
I’m so scared of my uncle, who tells of forgiveness
while hurting the child who hears what he preaches
and who loves the Lord, loves the message he preaches,
Who takes what she can, who does not whine,
who longs for comfort, who begs for forgiveness,
who wants to know “Why Her?” His brother’s child.
Why must she suffer the lust of this man?
Why must she endure the touch of his hands?


such powerful words, keep writing!
captivatingbitter: No-one-especially a child- should suffer such disgrace such embarrassment and hurt. Children are innocents, adults who prey on them should be removed from the planet. You have suffered so much in your (young) life, sharing is a wonderfully powerful method of soothing of developing focus. Your Uncle is the coward, the villain, the predator, the disgusting man imposing his will upon someone weaker…a CHILD.
Obviously: you are positively dealing with a severity a huge psycho-emotional stain.
NEVER GIVE UP.
Always know that no matter the difficulty, suffrage can be overcome. Though truly, time fails to heal, still, it does permit maturation and emotional strength. Healing comes from ENGAGEMENT, we must meet the problem head on, face to face, we must first, CONQUER OUR FEARS, then strike the blow of freedom.
Here: you are engaging, here, you are striking the blows, here, you are permitting (yourself) freedom.
“NEVER GIVE UP.”