You know, I never would have thought of myself as bad, damaged, or to blame if it had not been implied by my father. After my family found out about that I was molseted by my uncle they treated me like a freak, like a stranger. I don’t think they knew what to say to me or how to act around me. It’s like we were all lost. I will never forget what my father said, though… He had 3 things to say.
1. Are you sure you’re not making this up. Did you just want to fit in with the other girls, is that why you said this?
2. Why didn’t you tell us? Did you like it so much you just didn’t want it to stop, is that why you never said anything?
3. You are no better than a child molester your-self. If you would have said something when it happened you could have saved your cousins.
I will carry these scars the rest of my life. Before this conversation it never crossed my mind that I was to blame for any of this. Before this conversation being molested was just a bad thing that happened to me. Before this I had the illusion that my family would be there for me and support me if the worst happened. This conversation changed my entire life.
captivatingbitter 
captivatingbitter: You are NOT to blame for the actions of your Uncle. He and only he is to BLAME.
Our families often refuse to face truth because it shrouds them. Your father’s comments/questions stem from need to protect his brother. Making you feel guilty by including your cousins, demonstrates your father’s concern for them and not for you.
Victims of abuses of any type, especially women, find it extremely difficult to come forward. Fear, embarrassment, shame, disgust and the reasons, you know well, abound. Still, in order to arrest the ill feelings, in order to repair one must (somehow) find help.
You reached out to your family and unfortunately, were made to feel responsible for the shame the heinous crime that occurred (to you). Again, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.
Yes, the scars live with you for a lifetime, but never permit them to harness you; never allow them to dominate you; decide that you will heal, find resources of help.
captivatingbitter: Once more, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT is the first step to healing. You have begun to HEAL.
BE WELL
ofcourse ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
your dad’s words come from his knowing that he dint adequately protect you from abuse. but that doesnt make it your fault!
dont blame yourself, you absolutely had no clue on how to respond to abuse.
your family for whatever their reasons are not supporting you, but trust me its not coz you are to blame. try to talk to someone else who does genuinely care about you.
you will come out of this a stronger person.
dont take these words or attitudes of your family, to heart. they are not even worth your thoughts.
Thank you, haunted_doc… I appreciate your kindness.