I’ve been thinking a lot about Dante’s Divine Comedy…specifically his Inferno and I have decide I have 7 levels of my not-okay-ness…I know this is not grammatically correct 🙂 But it’s the best way I can explain it… Here’s how it goes… In this scenario I knock my contact solution off the sink edge due to my infinite clumsiness…
Level One: I have no reaction… I just pick it up and put it back.
Level Two: I take a deep breath, sigh, then put it back.
Level Three: I take a deep breath, huff, blow, slam it back down.
Level Four: I growl at the contact solution, pick it up, slam it down, huff, mumble and clench my fists…then take a deep breath…
Level Five: I growl, glare at the contact solution, leave it there, huff, sigh, take a moment to calm myself down and take a deep breath.
Level Six: I yell at the contact solution, I glare at it, I kick it across the room, yell at it some more and pick it up and slam it down.
Level Seven: I yell at the contact solution, sink, mirror and any inanimate object around, I pick up the contact solution and throw it against the mirror, I cry, I pick it up and throw it again.
Does anyone else have days like this filled with irrational emotional craziness? I hate this rage…this overly emotional out of control feeling….I certainly don’t want to go through life feeling like this… How do I get a handle on it?
captivatingbitter 
I notice, when subtle or not so subtle outside pressures haunt me because of my procrastination to resolve a mess (in life or just an actual mess) I quickly resort to Level 3. Often I am talking to objects, but quickly I mentally note I am talking to myself…fix this, get busy, how much longer will you tolerate this mess? If I went to Level 7, I would personally have concerns for my welfare and know all that deep seeded anger has to be defused for me to be ok in the years ahead…of course, you already know all this judging by your tags! Hugs!
Haha… Thanks!! I rarely get to level 7 any more… but when it feels like my life is spinning out of control and pressure is on me from all sides level 7 creeps up on me.