It is one of those days when my heart twists inside me like warped metal… feeling immovable and beyond repair.. I think about the View from the Pit sometimes and wonder why so few writers embrace and write about the pit… but I think it is because the pain there is so deep and so very personal that writing/speaking honestly about is like giving a piece of your soul away to strangers… it feels foolhardy, dangerous and way beyond vulnerable. How do I articulate this?…. Hmmmmmm… I have unshakable faith in Christ and I have a hope for a better life beyond this one… but if I did not have my faith I must say I don’t think I would have survived my life. I would certainly not be as close to daylight as I am now. I may sill be in the dark… I may still be in the pit… but I can at least see the blessed sun now and I know that I will one day soon feel the warmth of it on my skin with all of its life giving glory.
Tags: abuse, adult survivor of child sexual abuse, anger, anxiety, art, art therapy, beauty, being afraind, being real, betrayal, bitterness, blessings, broken, change, child, child abuse, child molester, child-molestor, choices, cold, cult, cutting, damaged goods, danger, death, depression, despair, doubt, dreams, emotion, emotional abuse, faith, family, farm life, father, fear, feeling, flowers, free-verse poetry, freedom, frustration, fun, future, god, goddess, grandmother, grief, guilt, happiness, healing, help, home, honest, honesty, hope, hopes, incest, incest survivor, intimacy, ledgends, life, lonely, longing, loss, love, marriage, memories, metamorphosis, monster, music, nature, overcoming abuse, pagan, pain, path to healing, photography, poetry, prayer, preaching, rant, rape, recovery, relationships, sadness, self-mutilation, sex, sexual, sexual abuse, stress, suicide, summer, survival, surviving, surviving abuse, surviving incest, surviving rape, survivor, toxic parents, truth

Hang on to yourself. It gets better.