I’ve got that feeling again… the buzzing of angry bees in my chest.  I wonder sometimes how long this struggle with anxiety will last?  Will I carry this with me always?  Will I ever get to the place where I can feel safe and at home in my own skin?  What battle am I fighting today that I feel this way?  When do I get to rest?  I feel like I have been fighting one battle or another since the day I was born.  I guess we all are in some form or fashion.  I long for peace.  I long for comfort… I long to feel.  I have been numb for far too long.  I guess I am finally learning where the bees come from… those angry bees that swarm in my chest and make it hard to breathe. I think they are all the emotions I have refused to let myself feel.  Now to loose the bees and regain some measure of peace I am choosing to feel all the painful things that I would not (or could not) feel.  I am crying and raging and curling up in a ball and allowing myself to feel small and vulnerable… I am fighting for me.  I will win.