Tag Archive: lonliness


Answers in the Silence


I shout into the wind

the full volume of my pain

and listen for the answer

echoing back at me in silence…

my hands fisted at my side,

my soul reaching for hope.

Even on the most hope-

less days, the night wind

comforts, loves, caresses my side

and gently lifts my pain

offering me peace, silence

and hints at the answer

I have been searching for…answers

to my desperation…this subtle hope

sings to me in this silence,

accompanied by the whispering wind…

the balm to my soul’s pain..

wind’s fingers tracing the inside

of my open collar, along the side

of my neck.  What if the answer

to happiness, is embracing the pain?

Could that be our hope?

Pain danced away in the wind,

twirling in the dark silence?

Slowly the raging cacophony falls silent

and peace settles gently inside.

My mind still on the wind’s

Embrace, no longer looking for an answer

just awash in that elusive hope…

for the moment, a reprieve from pain.

I look into the eyes of pain

reflected in my mirror… silence

all around me… hope

slowly growing deep inside.

Questions forgotten, unanswered

for the moment, healed by the wind.

Despite the pain always inside

Despite the silence, years with no answer

I will forever find hope, waiting on the wind.

Morning Battle


For one so at home in the dark,

I often awake to find myself tormented…

plagued, harried

Utterly broken and 

so. very. afraid.

Why is it so easy to breathe

At night, sitting alone in the dark

And in the early morning hours

Every breath is a 

Ragged gasp…

Fighting for air…?

Why, when I should feel uneasy

Sitting in the night air

Listening to the wind 

And the sounds from the city

Do I feel fearless?

Peaceful?

Yet in the breaking daylight

Peace gives way to 

Turmoil…and 

So much pain…

Every dark thought

Is a blade across my heart

Every shortcoming

A curse on my soul

And every tear shed

Feels like a shameful thing

Crying alone over coffee

Hating myself with a loathing

Beyond anything i have ever felt

For anyone else.

Haunted?


The darkness of the

shadowed wood

calls to me…

my will-o-the-wisp..

drawing me out…

drawing me in…

I hear your voice

there…beckoning me…

Step deeper.

Go further.

Come to me…

and step by step

I comply…

somnambulant

in my capitulation

yet… somehow

willing

to walk into the dark

-unafraid.

Stray Thoughts


I feel your fingers

in my hair

in the playfulness

of the wind.

Whispered breaths

against my cheeks

speak of your

kisses…cool

instead of warm…

…yet…they still

ignite in me a

heat that

will not be

ignored

or denied.

Thank you for loving me…


There are endless

Hours of conversation between us…

Among the laughter, tears… joy

Never far away… but – grief stays close as well…

Knowing you has helped me to know myself…

You have been a guide and a mirror to me

On this strange journey… one

Unlike any I have ever experienced.  I am

Feeling things I thought long dead

Only to see them rise again, full of hope…

Relieved to find that – against all odds

Love is possible for me…

Only you can say you know me as you do…

Vulnerable, hesitant, afraid… yet

Intrigued and embracing fearlessness and

Never giving up hope even when I 

Grasp for bravery, and find it eludes me…

Mesmerized by your steadfast love… I find

Eternity staring back at me. 

Fading day


I am watching the day die slowly

As the cicadas and frogs

Begin to sing loudly

Drowning out the sounds

Of the city around me

And the light fades to 

Gold, then gray…

Enriching the colors 

Then draining them…

I feel the heat of the

Fading day against 

My skin…somehow

Comforting and not

Oppressing despite the 

Lack of a breeze.

I feel so alone, yet

Somehow not lonely,

My mind reaching 

Into the silence, searching

For You….Hoping to find 

Myself… at last.

Me


I don’t know how to be in this much pain.

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