Archive for November, 2014



Thank you so much SwittersB for nominating me for One Lovely Blog Award.  You are so kind!

The Rules for the Award are as follows

1.  You must thank the person that nominated you

2.  You must list the rules and display the award

3. You must list 7 facts about yourself

4.  You must nominate 10 others

5.  You must display award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you

I cannot tell you how honored and humbled I have been by my readers… It is an amazing feeling to have such love and concern come my way from so many sources… Growing up in a home where kindness and compassion were so rarely displayed I still find myself surprised daily by the kindness shown to me by virtual strangers.

Seven facts about myself:

1.  Without my husband’s constant prayer, encouragement and love I would not have dared to write this blog at all – it was because of his insistence that I deserved a space all my own to express my heart and mind that I started on this journey.

2.  Photography as a form of art therapy has been one of the most important and effective methods by which my heart has begun to heal.

3.  I am a dirt-loving, weed-pulling daylily nursery owner and I spend several hours a week working in my flower beds and welcoming the endless distraction of new blooms, buzzing bees, butterflies and hummingbirds — not to mention the occasional wild baby rabbit who will eye me from under some foliage.

4.  I did not play with Legos until my late (very late :)) twenties… now I have 4 Lego sets – 3 of which are scenes from Harry Potter and I would much rather display them in my China Hutch than actual China… I love whimsy and playing games and my husband and I spend many an evening over a board game or playing poker with mini chocolate bars as the currency.

5.  I have the widest taste in music of anyone I know… right now my collection contains artists varying from Benedictine Monks (which I am listening to at this moment) to Weird Al, to Creed, System of a Down, Crash Test Dummies, John Anderson, John Denver, Journey, Bon Jovi, Goo Goo Dolls, Rainforest Tribal Chants, Jim Croche, Jewel, Delerious?, Johna33, Michael W Smith…the list goes on….  I think ‘eclectic’ is the operative word here.

6.  I am easily distracted… think Dug from the movie UP and his collar that allowed him to “Squirrel!!” talk to people…  This is me, although my husband would likely argue my attention span is even shorter…

7.  Maggots are my kryptonite… I can handle snakes, spiders, beetles, bugs, all manner of reptiles and amphibians – but if I am encountered by a maggot I cannot handle it…. it’s quite pathetic…but I will hug a snake any day of the week – I have even been bitten  by them and know, logically, that they are more dangerous if not treated with proper respect…but this tiny insect larvae will leave me near tears and frozen in terror….

I have been enjoying so many blogs lately…but the blogs I would especially like to nominate are as follows:

The Broken Light Collective

Book of Bokeh

Wild Goodness

Reveling in the Overflowing Grace of God

Simple Pleasures

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Blooming Lotus

Living Shadows

A Victims Journal

Mum..How Much Longer?

My Levels of Not Okayness


I’ve been thinking a lot about Dante’s Divine Comedy…specifically his Inferno and I have decide I have 7 levels of my not-okay-ness…I know this is not grammatically correct 🙂 But it’s the best way I can explain it…  Here’s how it goes…  In this scenario I knock my contact solution off the sink edge due to my infinite clumsiness…

Level One: I have no reaction… I just pick it up and put it back.

Level Two: I take a deep breath, sigh, then put it back.

Level Three: I take  a deep breath, huff, blow, slam it back down.

Level Four: I growl at the contact solution, pick it up, slam it down, huff, mumble and clench my fists…then take a deep breath…

Level Five:  I growl, glare at the contact solution, leave it there, huff, sigh, take a moment to calm myself down and take a deep breath.

Level Six: I yell at the contact solution, I glare at it, I kick it across the room, yell at it some more and pick it up and slam it down.

Level Seven: I yell at the contact solution, sink, mirror and any inanimate object around, I pick up the contact solution and throw it against the mirror, I cry, I pick it up and throw it again.

Does anyone else have days like this filled with irrational emotional craziness?  I hate this rage…this overly emotional out of control feeling….I certainly don’t want to  go through life feeling like this… How do I get a handle on it?

Gift from my Husband


This was written for me by my husband…  He is such a gift!

 

My heart weeps for all your tears.

Your words convey your pain.

I ache to sing solace amidst your fears.

And brush away your rain.

I grieve with you each ill received.

Your voice cries out lost years.

Your plastered smile did not deceive.

I yearn to hold you near.

Your heart was buried amidst the shame.

Twas hidden among the scars.

You did not deserve an ounce of blame,

For untold lashes left to mar.

Voices maligned your every thought.

Mean words dashed your heart.

Cruel lessons were branded and severely taught,

And dark horrors did they impart.

To be raised by loathsome beasts at best,

And savage gods at worst,

I long to see your soul enjoy rest,

And all your wounds be nursed.

Each scar and tear is precious to me.

Your pain does not repel.

I chase each lingering shadow to flee,

And make the dark dispel.

Until your heart finds rest in my love,

Your head against my chest,

I’ll embrace you in mine arms my dove,

till serenity do you possess

You were punished for your sire’s sin.

Sacrificed to lust and pride.

You and your cousins given to perverse men,

While your childhood died.

You were offered up to protect their lies.

Innocence suffered mortal blows.

While they puff and guff and claim alibis,

Their children they laid low.

Their children used as human shields

Wounded youth left to die

How foolishly they abused the power they yield,

For their infants they did not even cry.

What cruelty seethes from lifeless eyes?

lips drip poison to their chins.

Injuries more upon your back now lie

you lost so they might win.

How willingly they strap you to the stake.

Your mother sheds not one tear.

Your father preaches to the mob so fake,

while they cling to his words as dear.

Vacant eyes stare as babies are sacrificed alive,

Cries rend the night.

Innocence voices are silenced by inhuman drives,

beautiful children see no more light.

The God they think they blameless serve,

will one day cast them out,

They will find the place that he reserved,

for monsters who acted devout.

God is merciful and loving and kind it’s true,

but one day time will end.

Justice will have His say and into hell will He spew,

those who did only pretend.

God saw each cut and bruise and lash,

which they willfully hid.

Their image would be fit for the trash,

if ever exposed what they did.

You were effectively silenced for many a year,

Your heart was left to die

Malevolent parents deceive all who give ear,

and you thought you were the lie.

My heart weeps for wrongs you have wearily bourne,

by callous hearts and dead eyes.

I pray I may care for the places you were savagely torn,

and weep with you while you cry.

No one deserves abuse and neglect.

least of all one so pure.

God tenderly caught each tear to collect,

forever in His arms He will assure.