Category: Poetry


Fading day


I am watching the day die slowly

As the cicadas and frogs

Begin to sing loudly

Drowning out the sounds

Of the city around me

And the light fades to 

Gold, then gray…

Enriching the colors 

Then draining them…

I feel the heat of the

Fading day against 

My skin…somehow

Comforting and not

Oppressing despite the 

Lack of a breeze.

I feel so alone, yet

Somehow not lonely,

My mind reaching 

Into the silence, searching

For You….Hoping to find 

Myself… at last.

Grief


Your grief pierces me

and I feel it as acutely

as my own –

this pain…

at first sharp,

breathtaking…

then… settling in

making itself at home.

A duller, but still constant,

ache…

making friends with all

the other grief

all the loss, pain, fear…

finding its spot among

the rubble.

Somehow finding

beauty in finding

a home in me.

I called her Mom


I remember splashing in puddles

Clomping and stomping

All down the road

Letting the water spray us in

Little geysers, dirty and fun, the

Evening sun turning the sky golden,

Delighting our eyes and

Hearts.  Such a glimpse…staggering

Evidence of who you could have been.

Realizing the mother i could have had

My heart shatters remembering your

Onerous, offensive touches

Mortifying me…torturing my soul.

Awakening…


You dance across my mind…

strong, graceful, beautiful…

and dangerous.

I inhale you…intoxicated…

breathe you in.

The scent of you pierces me

like lightening

piercing the night sky

in a violent, sensual embrace –

baring my desire…

my hunger – for all to see.

Igniting the very center of me

a flash fire, burning away the years

like dry tinder

leaving me before you

bare

quivering with evident desire

yet somehow unafraid.

The Quiet One


She sat quietly in class

Never hearing a word-

Her mind screaming,

Racing, ravaging her thoughts…

She sat calmly, pen in hand;

Honor student….horror filled

And anguished.

Automatically, she made conversation…

She passed tests

She chatted with friends

And longed to die

To escape this pain…

She sat quietly in church

Longing for salvation

Imprisoned by religion

Preached at by her tormentors

Looking for horns

Disguised as halos.

She sat quietly at home

And smiled at the monsters

While cutting the pain 

Of her soul out of her skin…

Watching the blood ooze and

Drip…with dry eyes

And emotionless face

Hiding the raging terror

In her heart.

She sat quietly in the therapist’s chair

Giving reassurances to the one

Who was supposed to help – 

Praying they see 

Behind her stillness

To the utter turmoil within

Not trusting anyone or anything…

Somehow comforting them

For her pain

And living with the hopelessness

That almost felt like a friend.

She stood quietly in the bathroom…

Staring at her calm face

Unwilling to meet her own gaze,

Unable to keep avoiding the horror…

The pain ravaging her from inside

And without warning-

Almost in slow motion

The avalanche began…

All the silence broke

The tears came in a torrent,

The rage, the pain…

The still, quiet girl is gone

Replaced with a woman

With a face full of anguish

Unable to sit quietly any longer – 

Not willing to still her face

For the comfort of strangers

Haunted and crumbling

Shattered

Shuttering violently with each 

Invasive

Intrusive

Memory.

Stumbling and falling

All along the path

To be whole.

Warrior


Still bleeding from his wounds

he returns to me…

He reveals the depth of his pain –

and I am lost in the torrent, lost

in the extent of the damage.

How can one, so wounded, still live?

He is a road-map of scars,

a patch-work of bruises;

and in my hand the mace.

 

That Familiar Ache


I can feel it again… that tightness in my chest…

the tears, the throat so tight I cannot swallow.

Grief fills my lungs with cries I will not utter.

I feel the pull… the desire to be “ok”

the desire to bury this pain and pretend

that I am not in agony…

I feel it again… this drowning

all-consuming tidal wave swelling

toward me… so much pain… and I stand

on the open beach… arms out-stretched…

do your worst.

Haunted


Haunted by memories I grasp for you and quickly push you away.

I cannot stomach this closeness yet I desire your touch – crave it –  NEED it…

Fear arises as the brush of your hand resurrects ghosts thought long exorcised…

My body trembles, haunted by the abuse that still lives in my skin and in my breast, beating like a second heart.

It is chaos here… shouts, whispers, whimpers, cries…

Locked in the asylum of my mind.

July 23 2014 (120)


I took this photograph of a Blue Morpho...broken and beautiful still

Heart torn –

yet not given

the precious gift of death…

I can only breathe in..and out…

waiting…

Gift from my Husband


This was written for me by my husband…  He is such a gift!

 

My heart weeps for all your tears.

Your words convey your pain.

I ache to sing solace amidst your fears.

And brush away your rain.

I grieve with you each ill received.

Your voice cries out lost years.

Your plastered smile did not deceive.

I yearn to hold you near.

Your heart was buried amidst the shame.

Twas hidden among the scars.

You did not deserve an ounce of blame,

For untold lashes left to mar.

Voices maligned your every thought.

Mean words dashed your heart.

Cruel lessons were branded and severely taught,

And dark horrors did they impart.

To be raised by loathsome beasts at best,

And savage gods at worst,

I long to see your soul enjoy rest,

And all your wounds be nursed.

Each scar and tear is precious to me.

Your pain does not repel.

I chase each lingering shadow to flee,

And make the dark dispel.

Until your heart finds rest in my love,

Your head against my chest,

I’ll embrace you in mine arms my dove,

till serenity do you possess

You were punished for your sire’s sin.

Sacrificed to lust and pride.

You and your cousins given to perverse men,

While your childhood died.

You were offered up to protect their lies.

Innocence suffered mortal blows.

While they puff and guff and claim alibis,

Their children they laid low.

Their children used as human shields

Wounded youth left to die

How foolishly they abused the power they yield,

For their infants they did not even cry.

What cruelty seethes from lifeless eyes?

lips drip poison to their chins.

Injuries more upon your back now lie

you lost so they might win.

How willingly they strap you to the stake.

Your mother sheds not one tear.

Your father preaches to the mob so fake,

while they cling to his words as dear.

Vacant eyes stare as babies are sacrificed alive,

Cries rend the night.

Innocence voices are silenced by inhuman drives,

beautiful children see no more light.

The God they think they blameless serve,

will one day cast them out,

They will find the place that he reserved,

for monsters who acted devout.

God is merciful and loving and kind it’s true,

but one day time will end.

Justice will have His say and into hell will He spew,

those who did only pretend.

God saw each cut and bruise and lash,

which they willfully hid.

Their image would be fit for the trash,

if ever exposed what they did.

You were effectively silenced for many a year,

Your heart was left to die

Malevolent parents deceive all who give ear,

and you thought you were the lie.

My heart weeps for wrongs you have wearily bourne,

by callous hearts and dead eyes.

I pray I may care for the places you were savagely torn,

and weep with you while you cry.

No one deserves abuse and neglect.

least of all one so pure.

God tenderly caught each tear to collect,

forever in His arms He will assure.