I come to you with my offering
arms full – eyes brimming…
but as I pour out my love
it turns to sand… my tears
to dust… and I realize
I have nothing to offer.
No oil, no myrhh…
I come to you empty-
begging to be filled.
Category: Poetry
Unbidden, thoughts of you crowd my mind…
I cannot elude your smile,
your voice.
I feel myelf slowly consumed by you
as I seek a more intimate
connection.
I wish to bond to you, to mold myself
completely to your skin, your heart
your spirit.
I seek to lose myself in your wonderment
your love, your passion and
wild goodness.
I want at once to be your child, wife,
mother, lover, teacher and
devotee.
I want to worship at your alter in a
pagan ritual of lust and sex
and blood.
I approach idolatry in my
devotion to you. May God
forgive me.
I fear I cannot escape this – but more
still – I fear I shall choose
to abide.
I can feel you slipping away from me
feel your warmth fade to nothing…
please don’t leave me here.
I cannot bear this.
So many unspoken words…
I refuse to let them haunt me.
I don’t know what to say here
I have no comfort to offer…
this pain is overwhelming.
Numbness would be nice.
She is fierce – eyes blazing
daring the world
to come closer.
She is confident and untouchable
a Norse goddess
destined for Valhalla.
She is expert at battle strategy
and can defend anyone
defeat any foe.
She rescued me.
She became me
She hates me.
I smile politely at you
and let you assume I agree.
In reality I am fuming
at your words.
I hide behind good manners
never letting you see the discord.
I don’t know you anymore
-don’t think I ever did.
It’s all smoke & mirrors anyway
this thing called friendship.
Calmly I offer you
pieces of my heart,
tenderly chosen-
which you accept
with a smile
then toss away,
crumpled.
Just another piece
of unwanted garbage-
for which you spare
no thought.
In a torrrid sea of faces
and voices
I cling to you.
Fighting violently
I resist the pull
of my old life…
of lies and pretending
of repression and unspoken violence.
I don’t want this anymore.
I crave peace,
unending.
So today I figtht
so that tomorrow
I may heal.
3-20-11
The lioness
stalking
cricling, growling
menacing
biting
tearing, rending
shredding
eating
swallowing up
my soul
and passing
stealthily
into the night.
captivatingbitter 
