captivatingbitter

Are you part of the club?  No, not a popular and fun club… the club of the Rape Survivors… We’re not an official club…but we often recognize each other by our habits, mannerisms and particular needs.  Does this sound familiar?

• You don’t close your eyes when you shower – even when you wash your hair.
• You prefer to sit in a restaurant with your back to a wall or corner from which you can see people enter and exit around you.
• You check the house when you are alone at night, searching room by room before you can rest.
• You either leave the shower curtain open or use a clear shower curtain when you shower.
• You do not like people standing behind you and do not like to be touched by all but a very few people.
•  You have nightmares about the event – wake up with dried tears on your cheeks, your heart pounding and a pain in your chest that you can scarcely breathe around.
• You have flash-backs that make the event feel like it is constantly current.

There is so much more… so many every day unconscious decisions.  It feels so unfair that this one event changes your life so drastically.  Some days I feel so angry – I feel cheated.  I wonder what path my life would have taken…but then I just breathe… I try to pray… I find peace whenever I can, wherever I can.  I find peace in worship, long walks in the woods, kayaking on Banks Lake, reading good books…  Where do you find peace?