My favorite local kayaking place is Banks Lake in Lakeland, GA. The view is breathtaking and the weather was absolutely perfect today – it was clear and cool and windy. I’m already ready to go again.
Tag Archive: blessings
My husband is amazing… he gives me a fantastic birthday celebration every year and I just love it! I think I’ve written about it before… we celebrate for the entire week… so every day for the week leading up to my actual birthday I get a gift or favor and it makes me feel so loved. I do the same for him when his birthday comes around in the summer… it’s a great tradition and I love it! I am always looking for new family traditions – new ways to celebrate life and new ways to celebrate each other. Do you have any traditions that you’d like to share?
Are you part of the club? No, not a popular and fun club… the club of the Rape Survivors… We’re not an official club…but we often recognize each other by our habits, mannerisms and particular needs. Does this sound familiar?
- You don’t close your eyes when you shower – even when you wash your hair.
- You prefer to sit in a restaurant with your back to a wall or corner from which you can see people enter and exit around you.
- You check the house when you are alone at night, searching room by room before you can rest.
- You either leave the shower curtain open or use a clear shower curtain when you shower.
- You do not like people standing behind you and do not like to be touched by all but a very few people.
- You have nightmares about the event – wake up with dried tears on your cheeks, your heart pounding and a pain in your chest that you can scarcely breathe around.
- You have flash-backs that make the event feel like it is constantly current.
There is so much more… so many every day unconscious decisions. It feels so unfair that this one event changes your life so drastically. Some days I feel so angry – I feel cheated. I wonder what path my life would have taken…but then I just breathe… I try to pray… I find peace whenever I can, wherever I can. I find peace in worship, long walks in the woods, kayaking on Banks Lake, reading good books… Where do you find peace?
I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds…. heard this quote and had to share…
“Scars only show us where we’ve been – they do not dictate where we’re going”
I hate days like this… I feel twitchy after spending the last 2 days pulling weeds in my gardens and having bugs crawl all over me… I still feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I know I should be used to this by now and I know bugs are no big deal, really, but I still cannot help the way I react. I try so hard to play it cool and to stay calm. I have these huge spiders in my flower beds and when you startle them they run toward you – not away from you. It freaks me out. Not to mention the beetles, ants and roaches that live in the taller weeds and thick grasses that I have to deal with. I hate this feeling… everything that touches me makes me flinch. I’m so jumpy. I think I will just sit calmly the rest of the day and sip tea and watch Netflix.
Taken summer 2013 in my front yard on my Passion Flower Vine
I’m sure there’s some perfectly scientific, purely logical explanation for why the heat + the humidity makes life in south Georgia nearly unbearable. It’s so strange…while hiking in Texas last month the temperature was much higher but it felt much better. Here, 85 degrees feels like an oven, there 110 degrees felt like a breeze.
I confess I do not understand the physics of it – but I’m kinda okay with that – it makes it feel like magic to me.
I realized today, not for the first time, that there are several things I do simply out of habit…out of long-standing routine. I shower in exactly the same way, dry off in the same pattern, wash dishes in the same order (cups & glasses first, then plates, then bowls, then pots & pans and finally serving and silver-ware)… I even open my cans of cream in the way I was taught by my mother when I was a kid – though it is not the most safe or expedient way to do so…(with a knife – which causes my husband some consternation… he’s always afraid I’ll cut myself; which I must admit is likely since I am terribly clumsy…) It’s funny all the little habits and routines we get into without considering their source or effectiveness. 
captivatingbitter 