My favorite local kayaking place is Banks Lake in Lakeland, GA. The view is breathtaking and the weather was absolutely perfect today – it was clear and cool and windy. I’m already ready to go again.
Tag Archive: choices
Are you part of the club? No, not a popular and fun club… the club of the Rape Survivors… We’re not an official club…but we often recognize each other by our habits, mannerisms and particular needs. Does this sound familiar?
- You don’t close your eyes when you shower – even when you wash your hair.
- You prefer to sit in a restaurant with your back to a wall or corner from which you can see people enter and exit around you.
- You check the house when you are alone at night, searching room by room before you can rest.
- You either leave the shower curtain open or use a clear shower curtain when you shower.
- You do not like people standing behind you and do not like to be touched by all but a very few people.
- You have nightmares about the event – wake up with dried tears on your cheeks, your heart pounding and a pain in your chest that you can scarcely breathe around.
- You have flash-backs that make the event feel like it is constantly current.
There is so much more… so many every day unconscious decisions. It feels so unfair that this one event changes your life so drastically. Some days I feel so angry – I feel cheated. I wonder what path my life would have taken…but then I just breathe… I try to pray… I find peace whenever I can, wherever I can. I find peace in worship, long walks in the woods, kayaking on Banks Lake, reading good books… Where do you find peace?
I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds…. heard this quote and had to share…
“Scars only show us where we’ve been – they do not dictate where we’re going”
I hate days like this… I feel twitchy after spending the last 2 days pulling weeds in my gardens and having bugs crawl all over me… I still feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I know I should be used to this by now and I know bugs are no big deal, really, but I still cannot help the way I react. I try so hard to play it cool and to stay calm. I have these huge spiders in my flower beds and when you startle them they run toward you – not away from you. It freaks me out. Not to mention the beetles, ants and roaches that live in the taller weeds and thick grasses that I have to deal with. I hate this feeling… everything that touches me makes me flinch. I’m so jumpy. I think I will just sit calmly the rest of the day and sip tea and watch Netflix.
Taken summer 2013 in my front yard on my Passion Flower Vine
I have been enjoying painting lately, I find it very restful and therapeutic. With so much in the world and in my life that is ugly, hurtful or mean I find that creating little spots of beauty bring peace to me…
I love how rainbows make me feel….. Every time I look at them I feel a surge of hope. Their beauty is ethereal and fleeting but the impression they leave on my heart is deep and permanent.
Some days it feels like there are no ears to hear our cries. I have faith that this is not the case, but some days I wish that I had a definite answer… some definite sign that my prayers were heard and that an answer was on the way… Some days faith comes so easily to me and other days it feels nearly impossible…
captivatingbitter 