Lately I feel like I am drowning in pain.  All I can think is, “I don’t know how to do this…”  It’s crippling, really…I feel frozen in this spot and I am afraid to reach for help.  No one can help me through this.  The pain of my past has finally caught up with me and is taking hold of my life… it’s ruining my marriage…it’s permeating my relationships….it’s taking over!  I see every relationship or potential relationship through the filter of my parent’s abuse.  I can’t go on living like this.  It is so terrifying and isolating and maddening.  I want to be free of it all.  I wish I could wash this off… I wish I could dust my ands off and be done with it.  I wish I could change my past and give myself a blank slate – a fresh start… I wish there was a pill for bad memories… I wish…I wish…

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