There is a symphony
all around me
that haunts me,
romances me,
bouys me… lifts
me to unforseen
heights and
somehow…
sits with me
in the low places…
lighting the dark
…showing me
the way home…
I hear melodies
in the grass, the leaves,
the whispering wind,
the etherial
beauty in the
song of the stars
full of longing
and an ever-
reaching hope…
dark, mysterious,
beautiful…
home.
I feel your fingers
in my hair
in the playfulness
of the wind.
Whispered breaths
against my cheeks
speak of your
kisses…cool
instead of warm…
…yet…they still
ignite in me a
heat that
will not be
ignored
or denied.
The winter-shorn
trees scratch calligraphy
against the sky and
I strain my eyes
to see what
truth lies there.
Straining my ears,
I listen to the
whispering leaves
and wait
breathless
for the words
they speak.
My heart
yearns… longs
to know their
secrets… to feel
their comfort.
To be swept away.
A brittle leaf on the
October wind.
Sunlight
streaming like rain
filtering through the trees
kissing my face like a lover
….breathless….
Cool invisbile
fingers of wind gently stroke
the tears from my face
All I see is you
your once familiar face
now ever pain-blurred
How to control this
deep ache felt with every beat
of a heart – once loved?
I am haunted by you.
You dog my steps in
the silence of the night
and I lie awake …
tensed for the sound
of your rage.
Drifting off, exhausted,
I startle to every sound,
every breath the house takes
makes me catch my own…
heart pounding…
waiting for pain.
How do I exorcise you
from a place
you never lived?
How do I, instead,
evict you from my heart…
to live no longer haunted?
To breathe again..
Free?
Days like today are hard…
reeling from loss and hurt
on my way to joy, but the journey
withers my heart sometimes… I
need the night sky, the wind
in my hair… the
naked fingers of moonlight
gently stroking my skin…
I need to feel alive…
No other way to
swim in these currents of grief
only by surviving, striving,
rambling my way to joy
ramshackle though it may be.
One day this shadow will lessen…
will give way to the light.
When I was held down,
Helpless in that dark place
Abused…
Tormented…
Yearning to be free
Only to feel shackled anew daily
Unable to think or
Dream of a future
Enveloped in despair
Shaking in fear, anger, loneliness… still
I hoped… I yearned… longed for
Release, rescue…seeking
Escape in the wrong hands
Desperate for safety…
Telling myself all the same
Old lies, whispering
Destruction to my own heart
Even while yearning for
Salvation.
Tired of living in chains
Relying on my
Own strength… a lie… only
Your strength can free me… can
Make me new. I struggle
Even now… but change is on the way…
Hope will not be denied
Eternity is housed in the faintest
Whisper of His voice.
I am nothing… but Him? He is
Love, Passion, Power… Freedom
Lies in His embrace… He will
Make me new… In Him
Alone lies the answer… and I
Know He will provide.
Even though I fail, even though I
Stumble… even in my shame I won’t stop
Trying to move forward
Reaching out for the Throne of Grace.
Only then will I be free,
New in heart, mind and soul
Given a new heart
A new name
Named HIS for eternity, my
Desires met in HIM
Bowing before the throne of
Eternity, humbly loved, forever
Amazed by HIS beauty and grace
Unable to imageine or ever again
Think of a life without love…
Immediately and irrevocably
Forever changed….
Undone and remade by
Love HIMSELF….Jesus Christ
I am watching the day die slowly
As the cicadas and frogs
Begin to sing loudly
Drowning out the sounds
Of the city around me
And the light fades to
Gold, then gray…
Enriching the colors
Then draining them…
I feel the heat of the
Fading day against
My skin…somehow
Comforting and not
Oppressing despite the
Lack of a breeze.
I feel so alone, yet
Somehow not lonely,
My mind reaching
Into the silence, searching
For You….Hoping to find
Myself… at last.
captivatingbitter 