Lately I feel like I am drowning in pain. All I can think is, “I don’t know how to do this…” It’s crippling, really…I feel frozen in this spot and I am afraid to reach for help. No one can help me through this. The pain of my past has finally caught up with me and is taking hold of my life… it’s ruining my marriage…it’s permeating my relationships….it’s taking over! I see every relationship or potential relationship through the filter of my parent’s abuse. I can’t go on living like this. It is so terrifying and isolating and maddening. I want to be free of it all. I wish I could wash this off… I wish I could dust my ands off and be done with it. I wish I could change my past and give myself a blank slate – a fresh start… I wish there was a pill for bad memories… I wish…I wish…
captivatingbitter 
Relationships are a neverending cycle through our past. You are stronger than you think. You can stand up and change the parts you dont like. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR PAST. You are better than what you that. Stand tall and be proud of yourself that you made it through your past to the future you have now and will continue to push through to the future you want to have.
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Ander
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Last Posted: “I was so angry I threw the table across the room”
when your world is full of mist and you can’t see, just listen to His voice as He will always lead you home.
I am greatful to my Creator for always whispering to me when I am still and willing to listen.