captivatingbitter

I hate days like this… I feel twitchy after spending the last 2 days pulling weeds in my gardens and having bugs crawl all over me… I still feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.  I know I should be used to this by now and I know bugs are no big deal, really, but I still cannot help the way I react.  I try so hard to play it cool and to stay calm.  I have these huge spiders in my flower beds and when you startle them they run toward you – not away from you.  It freaks me out.  Not to mention the beetles, ants and roaches that live in the taller weeds and thick grasses that I have to deal with.  I hate this feeling… everything that touches me makes me flinch.  I’m so jumpy.  I think I will just sit calmly the rest of the day and sip tea and watch Netflix.

Taken summer 2013 in my front yard on my Passion Flower Vine

I feel so dumb today… I got home after work and gathered my things and got everything in the house and realized I could not find my car key…. It was after 11 pm and very dark out, so I grabbed a flashlight and searched all over the yard between the house and the car and could not find the key… I finally found it – I locked it in the car!! UGH!  I don’t have any other key and the clicker is quite old and no longer works at all… We really cannot afford a lock-smith and I don’t know what I’m going to do… I hate it when I do things like this.  I know we all make mistakes and are forgetful from time to time and I know intellectually that I am being hard on myself…but emotionally, I feel like I’ve made some major horrible mistake.  Thank God for grace….now, if I could only apply that same grace to myself.