I went kayaking with some friends on Saturday. It was blustery and cold and perfect. We went out to Reed Bingham State Park. It was gorgeous! We paddled up river for about 2 hours then turned around and came back. I love the feeling of being out on the water – maneuvering between cypress knees and through shallow bogs and narrow passages. I love the feeling that something unknown and wonderful could await just around the next bend. I love the beautiful hush of the river passing through the deep woods. There’s something profoundly healing about being out in nature…something that, as author John Eldridge wrote, let’s you know there is room for your soul. Every time I get out on a garden path or hike a trail or kayak a river I can fill my chest expand…can feel as though I have room to breathe – to belong. I’ve decide to do this more often… I am not going to wait until I am so stressed out i can barely function to do something healing and nice for myself. I am going to have a standing appointment with myself to go out and have a good time…t o surround myself with something beautiful and give myself permission to be…
Tag Archive: healing
I am going to be ok… I have been working so hard and making so much progress. I am excited about my future for the first time in as long as I can remember. I feel so full of hope and promise. I feel like I’m getting the hang of things. I know what I want and I know what I need to do with my life. It’s a nice feeling – I know I don’t have everything together – but I know I will be happy one day. Strange, this feeling of hope. I think I’ll just enjoy it for once.
Little girl, pigtails and blue-jeans
all muddy and smiling so big!
I love to watch you fling out your arms
and twirl in the sunshine. You see
the world through uniqe eyes that
accept with blind faith the beauty
and wildness of the world was created for you.
You know instinctively that joy is
your reason for being. You take delight
everywhere you find it and accept
without question that happiness is yours.
Perhaps I will come twirl with you today –
and you can show me the world through your eyes.
I watch your Judas lips drip poison
and I smile in polite fascination
pretending to agree.
I nod in the right places,
I make eye contact, I hope
my disgust is well hidden.
I can’t seem to follow this thread
this back and forth
this friendly banter.
I am not sure how this is
supposed to work… this friendship
this conversation.
I am lost in a sea of political correctness
and cannot convey the thoughts
simmering beneath my surface.
I allow you to lie in my face
and thank you for your
endless unabashed betrayals.
I don’t know why I protect
you from me. I owe
you nothing. Nothing!
Yet you take from me…
day after day you diminish me –
rendering me irrelevant.
I will not die here – buried
under the avalanche of
your words…your indifference.
I will shake this off and
find re-birth in the flame
of your disapproval.
Strange how when you hold me tight it doesn’t feel invasive and confining anymore.
Strange how quiet and peaceful I feel with you here with me.
Strange how I look toward the future with hope and not doubt or fear.
Strange how your love has changed me.









